The Jedi Way
by DoubleNatural
Summary: Just a tiny little ficlet written some time ago thought it might be time to publish it: Hope it makes you smile


Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Schade...  
  
"I've always thought you were very perceptive, Master. From the first time I laid eyes on you I could see that you were the brains of the operation and funnily enough you still are. Very clever. Almost too…"  
  
"Now is not the time for sarcasm, my young apprentice."   
  
"I've been thinking a lot about that recently, Master"  
  
"About what?  
  
"Time."  
  
"Oh? And what did you conclude from your meditation?"  
  
"Well, mostly that we don't appear to have a hell of a lot of it left."   
  
"Not very helpful under the circumstances, my annoying Padawan. You seem to have quite the gift for stating the obvious. Perhaps that will save us."  
  
"Come, come, Master this isn't the time for sarcasm you know."  
  
"Qui-Gon never had this trouble." Obi-Wan muttered under his breath.   
  
"I heard that"  
  
"You were meant to"  
  
"Oh and I suppose you were just the perfect little Padawan weren't you, Master?   
  
From what I hear you nearly gave the poor man a nervous breakdown."  
  
"And just what have you heard?"  
  
"Ooh, now who's Mr defensive? It's not exactly as if Melida/Daan was a secret you know."  
  
"You don't know the whole story. I….I had my reasons and its none of your business."  
  
"Don't worry. Your pristine legendary reputation is safe with me. Well…at least until I need something anyway."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"I'm not above blackmail"  
  
"What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Well I am the Padawan from Hell."  
  
"And don't I know it"  
  
"Well what I'll have to do see is take over the galaxy with a huge fleet of ships…  
  
"Off in delusional fantasy again."   
  
"…I'll rule it all with an iron hand…"  
  
"Stark raving mad. I'll tell you what. Whatever grief I gave Qui-Gon at least I retained my marbles"  
  
"…It is my destiny."  
  
"Good plan. Great plan even. Only one problem."   
  
"What's that?"  
  
"We're chained to stone pillars and they are about to execute us horribly."  
  
"All very valid points. However, I have a plan."  
  
"Really? Go on then."  
  
"Well what we do is this. We remember all the way back to the briefing a month ago that you were too busy to come to."  
  
"Hey, I was ill."   
  
"Whatever. Then we tell our Master that there is in fact a Jedi team in the crowd around these very pillars and that we were never in any danger at all and this has all been a simulation to see how you coped when faced with what you thought was mortal danger and that was why I was let in on the joke and you weren't."  
  
"A simulation but…hang on, let in on the joke?"  
  
"I never was a very good liar."   
  
"This has all been a practical joke?"  
  
"Nah, nice thought while it lasted though. I'm afraid to say Master that we are in Bantha poodoo up to our eyeballs."   
  
"Haha, very funny."  
  
"Master, seriously now, I really do have a plan. We are going to have to fight our way out."  
  
"All very well and good but how do we get out of these chains."  
  
"You know how you're always telling me that my lightsaber is my life and I should always have it with me."  
  
"Don't tell me you still have your lightsaber? Bloody hell."  
  
"Yeah I still have it and I have yours too."  
  
"How did you manage that?"  
  
"An awful lot of them guards had weak minds, Master."  
  
"You didn't. How many people?" Obi Wan gave him a withering look.  
  
"Um…7, maybe."  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you that you can't just go around enforcing your will?"  
  
"I'll try that next time and we wouldn't have the lightsabers if I hadn't so there."   
  
"And you called me defensive."  
  
"Yeah…well the lightsabers are under my belt on my back. Do you think you can reach them?"  
  
"Is my name Master Kenobi?"  
  
Obi Wan reached for the force and felt the presence of the two lightsabers underneath Anakin's belt. He drew his towards him and it came loose. He felt Anakin do the same with his own.   
  
"Right. As soon as I have my lightsaber they'll know something's wrong so we're going to have to do this quick."  
  
"Good, just the way I like it."  
  
"I despair of you, I really do."  
  
"Oh, come on, Master, you know you love me really."  
  
"I'm going to haunt you forever if this doesn't work."  
  
"And if it does?"  
  
"I'm going to give you a good slap for getting us into all of this."  
  
"I got us into all this? I don't think so. You were the one who insulted their customs and broke their laws."   
  
"And you were just a good little Jedi and followed their customs to the letter, did you? Even the one about the wild naked parties followed by virgin sacrifice on a mountaintop?"  
  
"Well maybe not that one."  
  
"My point exactly"  
  
"So this is just all my fault is it? Excuse me, who is the Master and who is the Padawan here. You just don't want to admit that you were wrong."  
  
"How was I wrong? Explain that to me. How was it wrong to not want to kill naked virgin women?"  
  
"You are so easy to wind up."  
  
"Once we get out of here I am going to wring your neck and get another Padawan who isn't such a smart arse."  
  
"Ooh, I'm scared. You can see me shaking in my boots."  
  
"You're enough to drive any Jedi to the Dark side."  
  
"That's not very nice, is it, Master. Didn't Qui Gon ever teach you that if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all?"  
  
"I am, I'm going to kill you if you don't shut up now."  
  
"Ooh, grumpy Master Kenobi, did we get out of bed on the wrong side this morning?"  
  
"Look, can we just concentrate on getting off this planet, please. I make the nearest spaceport to be about 10 minutes away if we run. Do you think we can make it?"  
  
"I bet you 20 credits I can get there before you"  
  
"I'll take that as a yes and you're on."  
  
"Right. You ready?"  
  
"I'm always ready."  
  
"1, 2, 3…go!"  
  
They ran towards the space port. Obi Wan had the lead but Anakin was coming up fast on the inside. As they came up to the ship it was neck and neck. Oh my God, I think that's a photo finish. Yes, there is going to be a steward's inquiry over whether there was a little bit of argy bargy going on between the Master and Padawan. The result is being announced. Anakin wins by a head and cheating on the part of Obi Wan. They run onto their ship and close the ramp.   
  
"Ha, Master! I think somebody owes me 20 credits!"   
  
"It wasn't a fair race."  
  
"Ooh, somebody is a sore loser. Come on, show us that pout, Master."  
  
"What did I do to deserve you?"  
  
"Qui Gon must have really, really, really been pissed at you. He was the one who insisted that you train me."  
  
"Argh!!!" Obi Wan stormed off to his cabin.  
  
"Now, now, Master, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering." He yelled after his furious Master.  
  
"I am way, way beyond suffering, Padawan. Leave me alone."  
  
"As you wish, Master."  
  
~finis~  
  
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